Patrick: Are you sure you don’t want any help with that? S6:E1 | Timestamp 0:18 Alexis: I fit my high school best friend into a suitcase way smaller than this when we were crossing the border between Laos and Vietnam, so I’m pretty sure I can figure this out. S6:E1 Read more…
Johnny: Oh, look at David. Smart enough to get that joke, but not smart enough to stop wearing sweaters in the middle of summer. S5:E12 “The Roast | “Timestamp: 20:41 Alexis: Burn, David! S5:E12 “The Roast | “Timestamp: 20:48 David: Okay, here’s why that joke didn’t work. S5:E12 “The Roast Read more…
Alexis: Okay, my turn. [clears throat] Hmm, never have I ever pretended to be a pizza delivery person so I could get into Jared Leto‘s Halloween party. S5:E5 “Housewarming” | Timestamp: 8:49 David: You’re a bitch. S5:E5 “Housewarming” | Timestamp: 9:00 Twyla: My mom was engaged to two pizza deliver Read more…
Alexis: How was your tester guy, was he a monster? S3:E4 “Driving Test” | Timestamp: 16:11 David: He was fine. Slightly distracted. Transitioning to a career as a DJ, but apparently none of the venues around here could handle his sound… S3:E4 “Driving Test” | Timestamp: 16:13 Alexis: See? I Read more…
Alexis: I don’t know why you didn’t ask me first, David. I have my license in seven different countries, and I have my “F” Class. S3:E4 “Driving Test” | Timestamp: 3:54 David: Isn’t that for transport trucks? S3:E4 “Driving Test” | Timestamp: 4:00 Alexis: Yes, well, I had a lot Read more…
Alexis: I know we just met, but if Prince Harry trusted me with his life, then I think you can too. S2:E12 “Lawn Signs” | Timestamp: 10:00 Wendy: Well, I do feel better having a lawyer in the room. S2:E12 “Lawn Signs” | Timestamp: 10:05 Alexis: [gasps] Oh, my God, Read more…
Alexis: Okay, I just really think you should stay out of it, David. You’re not good under pressure. S02:E12 “Lawn Signs” | Timestamp: 8:52 David: And you are? S02:E12 “Lawn Signs” | Timestamp: 8:55 Alexis: Um, I’m sorry, were you picked up by the South Korean Secret Police on New Read more…
David: So, are you nervous? This is like the first job you’ve ever had. S2:E10 “Ronnie’s Party” | Timestamp: 1:48 Alexis: No, it isn’t. S2:E10 “Ronnie’s Party” | Timestamp: 1:52 David: Putting your name on a line of edible nail polish isn’t what I would call having a job. S2:E10 Read more…
Alexis: Oh, and in case you wake up in a chair with your hands duct taped together, you can snap the duct tape by just raising your hands over your head, and then bringing them down really hard. S2:E7 “The Candidate” | Timestamp: 15:48 David: Thanks. Um, see you there? Read more…
David: Okay, nobody freaked out when Alexis went missing. S2:E1 “Finding David” | Timestamp: 15:43 Alexis: I didn’t go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time. S2:E1 “Finding David” | Timestamp: 15:46
Alexis: “Okay, my turn. My turn, my turn. Um… Okay. My eyes are brown. I am basically sample-size, and one time I escaped from a Thai drug lord’s car trunk, by bribing him with sex. “ S1:E4 “Bad Parents” | Timestamp: 10:17 Johnny: “Right idea, honey, but you know what?” Read more…